the mothers get whiskey, and the girlfriends get tongue

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! four days late! don’t worry, though, i was on time on real mother’s day. mostly. i actually would have forgotten it entirely had my friend Heather not been all “Hey, are you knitting something for Mother’s Day?” on Thursday. after which, of course, I was.

my mom is into armwarmers, for reasons that are unclear to me. so thinking quickly, i managed to whip up a pair of Sabrina Thompson’s Urban Weave Wrist Warmers with like a third of a skein of leftover Paton’s Shetland Chunky. I am nothing if not thrifty.

i think they turned out pretty cute. my mother pronounces herself pleased, and describes them as “squishy and warm.” glowing critical acclaim.

Oh, and speaking of armwarmers. Guess who finished an Endpaper Mitt?

(Hint: It’s me.)

Pretty okay, right? I thought so too. Unfortunately the pattern is sort of dark, and isn’t quite as stark as it looks under bright light in these photos. Also, the part where it’s laying flat? See where the thumb looks a little wonky? That’s because it is. Basically, kitchener rib bind-offs are kind of a pain, and on tiny thumb areas they are even worse. The thumb bind-off is weird and I will probably have to redo it. And that’s not all that’s weird:

I am really terrible at joins. I don’t know what my deal is. It’s the same with sweater arms; the best I can do is stitch them up after. this, though, is kind of a delicate project to do that with. Seriously, though, what can I do? That can only be described as a gaping, yawning crevasse in the middle of otherwise dense, warm, woolly, virtually flawless (if I do say so myself) knitting. Advice?

I will leave you with some more photos, now that I’ve actually dug out my camera and uploaded some stuff. I just got home from college, finals are over. When I am home, I am instantly transformed into a spatula-wielding, dish-washing, counter-wiping Domestic Goddess, in much the same way that Halle Berry’s eyes turn weirdly white and suddenly she becomes Storm. I have this preternatural, nearly inhuman need to bake. That said, here are some photos of cranberry-orange scones. They looked a little better than they tasted, but let’s be honest: they look pretty good.

*BONUS: First person to identify the origin of this post’s title will win a small prize of my choosing. (Not scones.) (Also, using Google is cheating.)